The Screams of Body Language

Originally posted 07/20/2011

The Screams of Body Language

I am a father that has a lot of useless knowledge. I bet some of you can relate. Sometimes I pride myself on that fact and other times I am embarrassed at how much I know on some topics that will only help me out if I ever got a chance to appear on Jeopardy. For example, did you know that 95% of a person's communication is body language? 95%! Really? So only 5% is based on what they say? Everything else is mood, gestures, tone, emotions, etc. Ever since I learned this tidbit of knowledge in high school, I have trained myself to try to "read" people. I have to say that I have become pretty good at it. My wife is not a fan of my ability to say the least.

I am especially adept when I go out and about. I tend to watch people's reaction to my kids because I want to see what I am up against. Please don't think that I am one of those "me against the world" people. I'm not and not by far. I just want to know what the situation is that I am getting into. Usually, whether it's in a store or the supermarket, I get the curiosity stares. You know...the ones where people just want to know what the issue is. I don't mind those and, if the person interested asks, I will usually educate them about my kids issues and what their daily life is like. After I am finished with the short version of the story, I almost always get an "Oh my" or "You have your hands full". My response is usually "this is our world and it is what it is" and then I move on. I often feel good once I have thrown down some knowledge on the unsuspecting soul (smiles). I try not to be condescending or sarcastic, but I do admit that it does come out especially after a hard day dealing with one of the issues or one of the doctors. Don't get me started on the doctors because that is a whole other blog.

The body language that usually gets me riled up and, yes I do mean RILED UP, is the people that stare. Why do they stare? Are we at a circus near the sideshow tents? Do my kids have a third leg or a foot growing out of their head? NO! Plus, it's not like they have never seen a wheelchair or, for that matter, a person who has medical needs. Some of these people are not children, who are naturally and brutally honest, but full grown adults who should have a lick of common sense and decency. What if I stared at you? What if I gawked at a zit in your face, your large nose, your oddly shaped head, or your uni-brow? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Yes! Then stop staring at my kids like something is majorly wrong. They are just as capable and able as you are, but they don't take the same path as you to accomplish things because it's not wheelchair accessible (smiles).

I guess the point of my rambling is that the biggest issues that I run across for my kids are not the medical ones, but more the social ones and the ones created by other people. Your body language screams at my kids without you ever making a sound. Your body language teaches my kids that they are different and that it is a bad thing. Your body language helps to take away what little self confidence they may have that day. So, the next time you see a "special" child and are curious, don't stare. Politely go up and ask. I am willing to bet that the parent might be very willing to have an honest, informational conversation with you. In fact, I bet they will teach you more than you ever knew.

Well, that's my nonsense and I am sticking to it.