The Social Media "Friend Contract"

***Disclaimer:  This is in no way associated, connected to, in use by, or in any correlation to Facebook, the company and/or any of its associated partners. This is something that I created as informational. This is not real nor is it in any shape or form "legally binding". Your use of this informational document is done at YOUR OWN RISK.***

The Social Media Friend Contract

I,___________ , on this ______ day of _________ in the year of _____ agree to the following contractual and binding agreements with any and all friends that are associated with me, my wall, my comments, my photos, my links, and any information that is is created and/or devised by me but not limited to only my posts. Posts that are associated with me but that are not my original material and/or creation are the sharing of others' comments, pictures, links, music, games, game requests, and "pokes".

Section 1:  Assumptions of Public Posting

1. Most people are good understanding people who use public posting as a way to reconnect, make friends, and/or network. Some vent as a way of therapy. Some are malicious in intent. Some will act like the "drama of high school" whether they are of the age to be in high school or not.
2. People, friends or otherwise, will post anything and everything.
3. You will not always agree with the postings, statements, comments, pictures, or links of all of the people that you associate with.
4. Understand that the following are considered inflammatory topics:  Religion, Race, Sexual Orientation, Politics, and Sports Teams. Your comments most likely will find someone who disagrees passionately about them. Just accept that fact.
5. It is YOUR choice what you post for the world to see.
6. Anything that YOU post is subject to the thoughts, ideas, comments, musings, and sarcastic quips of all of the people that you associate with. You have no control over what their response will be. 
7. Facebook (and the internet) is filled with diverse people, thoughts and ideas. Just because you may live in a sheltered environment doesn't mean that everyone posting around you has. Do not assume that everyone around you automatically agrees.
8. Some people will purposely make inflammatory comments to your posts/comments just to incite reaction. It is up to you how you react.
9. You do have a right to react to any posting. However, how you react may result in debating, arguing, and/or loss or friends and/or acquaintances. (See Section 4 for rules of debating)

Section 2:  The Poster

1. Assuming that you live in a country that utilizes free speech (For those outside of the Western World), you may post any thought, idea, comment, link, picture, and/or song that you wish. Understand that you also have to follow the rules of the website (i.e. Facebook) in which you are posting on. Anything deemed offensive, graphic, or adult may be dealt with by the owners of said website.
2. You may delete, without hesitation or consequence, any comment that another user posts on your wall, thread to your status, or on anything associated to your profile.
3. It is your right to decide who your friends are. You may delete and/or block anyone you deem necessary.
4. You have the right to ignore anything posted by another user.
5. If you continue to complain of the usage of another user and/or their posts/comments and you choose not to take any action (i.e. unfriending, deleting, blocking), then you may not whine, complain, bitch, moan, or vent about it since you have a choice that you are not using.
6. You have the right to leave Facebook if Facebook and you are not agreeing as it relates to your interaction with friends and acquaintances.

Section 3:  The Postee

1. Think before you post a comment or reaction to another's post. Keep in mind:  What will be the reaction? Will they take it in a good or bad way? KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. Be prepared to explain, comment on, debate, retract, and/or apologize about anything that you post.
2. You choose how you react and so does the original poster. Don't be surprised if it gets you blocked, banned, or deleted.

Section 4:  Rules of Debate
Any association of two people with a debate (Guidelines are reciprocal to all parties involved):

1. Respect all thoughts, ideas, creations, comments, pokes, and display of links, pictures, or games and game requests. Respect will be maintained throughout the friendship unless said respect is compromised at any point from the time of initial friendship.
2. If there is a dispute between two associated people, it will be settled in controlled, educated, thought out debate. If there is an agree after said debate has concluded, then the parties involved will go back to pursuing and maintaining the friendship. If no agreement can be reached, each party will have up to 24 hours granted for a "cooling off and gathering your thoughts" period. The parties must then come back after the 24 hour period and state guidelines on said disputed topic, idea, and/or thought. The agreed guidelines are binding between the parties involved in the argument for the duration agreed upon.
3. If "Friends" continually (3 or more heated disagreements and/or debates) have disagreements, the "removal of friends" clause can be enacted anytime after 3 documented and worked on "disagreed" upon debates.
4. Friends may choose to "unfriend" and or block the person in said violation. Duration of blockage is determined by the blocker and, if chosen by the blocker, may be lifted at any time of the blocker's choosing. The blocker has right to leave the blocking status as permanent.   

*By signing this document, you agree to follow the listed rules and guidelines. You also agree that you have read and understand the previously stated guidelines and will follow them. Signing this contract negates any negligence on your part from stating at a later point that you "did know know what you read or signed", "did not understand what you read or signed", "was unsure of what the contract stated". You take full responsibility of all of your actions as it relates to you being the "poster", "postee", or party to any disagreement in which you are actively involved in. Signing this document does not denote any guilt on part of the "poster" or "postee" unless proven otherwise by breach of this document.

Friend 1:  I,___________ , on this ______ day of _________ in the year of _____ have read and understand the guidelines and/or rules of the "Friend Contract" and I am expected to follow said rules to the letter of the rule.

Friend 2:  I,___________ , on this ______ day of _________ in the year of _____ have read and understand the guidelines and/or rules of the "Friend Contract" and I am expected to follow said rules to the letter of the rule.

****This "friend contract" is meant to set clear, established guidelines on how two associated people have a right to react while online (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Google+, MySpace, LinkedIn, etc).

Free Time...Stay-at-Home Father Style

Originally posted on 07/20/2011

Free Time...Stay-at-Home Father Style

I am a stay-at-home father. I decided that after my son had a twelve day TICU (Technology-Enhanced Intensive Care Unit) stay in January at the local Atlanta children's hospital that my talents were needed more at home than in my career of teaching. My son was sidelined with a very serious case of Pneumonia and RSV. When my son gets sick, it's always respiratory and it's always Pneumonia and something else. My son has contracted Pneumonia every winter since birth and, because my son uses numerous respiratory devices at home, he always goes to the TICU if he gets admitted. The months of October to April are what put me on edge every year. Plus, this year, my son contracted Pneumonia again in March and had a second ten day stay in the TICU. The first four months of this year my son has spent 22 days in the TICU for respiratory related illness. Luckily, since the last stay, we have been hospital and illness free. Thank God.

I am not your stereotypical father. I am very active and involved in my kids lives. I drive both of my kids back and forth to their private, special needs school. I drive them back and forth to their physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, horse therapy, any and all specialist doctor's appointments, and the pediatrician. I make appointments for their equipment to be adjusted and repaired when needed. I make their lunches, give them their medications (twice a day), and make their drinks which have a specialized thickening agent in every cup because they both aspirate. I work with them in their walker, assist with their PT at home, work on them with feeding themselves, and many other various learning obstacles that they need to learn to overcome.I do all of this on a daily/weekly and a normal basis. This does not even include my son's seizures or when my son gets sick.

During the winter (Oct.-Apr.), that's when the fun begins. The moment I hear my son cough as if he is getting sick the respiratory treatments start because, if I don't due to his medical condition, he WILL end up in the TICU again. So, when the coughing starts, I start the "vest" treatments, the cough assist treatments, the suctioning, and the breathing treatments. I have to use the O2 sensor and the bi-pap breathing mask at night. I even own my own stethoscope to be able to listen and identify where the congestion is to better help my son. After using all of this machinery and it still does not clear up his congestion, it's back up to the children's hospital to the ER where they know us well.

I have a vast knowledge of all of my son's hospital visits, Dr.'s visits, illnesses, hospital stays, etc. because my son (and daughter) are both non-verbal so they cannot say what is bothering them. I know about a lot about the urological and neurological issues. I know all 6 different kinds of seizures and what they look like. So far, my son has experienced two different kinds and my daughter just one kind. I know how to insert a catheter, a feeding tube, and use an enema. I know CPR, First Aid and I know how to use an AED. I have to have all of this knowledge on stand-by for those just in case moments when I have to rush him to the hospital and their have been several. I always feel like I am in "go" mode.

I say this because, since I have been a SATD (stay-at-home dad), it amazes me how people think I have all of this free time. Question? What free time? As I have stated about, I have therapies several times a week. I have schooling (when school is in session) five days a week. Normally specialists appointments all fall within the same month so I have to drive 120 miles round trip for each specialist doctor visit. When I get home, I have all of my normal home duties which include, but not limited to: cleaning the house, making meals, doing the laundry and doing all of the yard work. I even have a STRICT NAP TIME schedule. Yes, that's right, we don't miss nap time. Now some of you may say that I can take a break while they nap and here's my response to that....NO THE HELL I CAN NOT. Who are you kidding? Nap time is the only time that I can actually get any real work done and that's if they take a nap. Usually, nap time is maybe two hours if that and two hours goes by QUICK.

So, I ask again, where's my free time? It seems like most people are misguided in how my day or any stay-at-home parent's day goes. My day starts at 5:30 a.m. and does not stop until at least 8:00 p.m. every night. Then, I have to take sleeping medication to get a decent nights sleep because my mind doesn't turn off if I don't. So, the next time you think a stay-at-home parent has all of this magical free time, think again. That's in fairy tale land and I don't live on Disney property.

Well, that's my nonsense and I am sticking to it.

The Screams of Body Language

Originally posted 07/20/2011

The Screams of Body Language

I am a father that has a lot of useless knowledge. I bet some of you can relate. Sometimes I pride myself on that fact and other times I am embarrassed at how much I know on some topics that will only help me out if I ever got a chance to appear on Jeopardy. For example, did you know that 95% of a person's communication is body language? 95%! Really? So only 5% is based on what they say? Everything else is mood, gestures, tone, emotions, etc. Ever since I learned this tidbit of knowledge in high school, I have trained myself to try to "read" people. I have to say that I have become pretty good at it. My wife is not a fan of my ability to say the least.

I am especially adept when I go out and about. I tend to watch people's reaction to my kids because I want to see what I am up against. Please don't think that I am one of those "me against the world" people. I'm not and not by far. I just want to know what the situation is that I am getting into. Usually, whether it's in a store or the supermarket, I get the curiosity stares. You know...the ones where people just want to know what the issue is. I don't mind those and, if the person interested asks, I will usually educate them about my kids issues and what their daily life is like. After I am finished with the short version of the story, I almost always get an "Oh my" or "You have your hands full". My response is usually "this is our world and it is what it is" and then I move on. I often feel good once I have thrown down some knowledge on the unsuspecting soul (smiles). I try not to be condescending or sarcastic, but I do admit that it does come out especially after a hard day dealing with one of the issues or one of the doctors. Don't get me started on the doctors because that is a whole other blog.

The body language that usually gets me riled up and, yes I do mean RILED UP, is the people that stare. Why do they stare? Are we at a circus near the sideshow tents? Do my kids have a third leg or a foot growing out of their head? NO! Plus, it's not like they have never seen a wheelchair or, for that matter, a person who has medical needs. Some of these people are not children, who are naturally and brutally honest, but full grown adults who should have a lick of common sense and decency. What if I stared at you? What if I gawked at a zit in your face, your large nose, your oddly shaped head, or your uni-brow? Would it make you feel uncomfortable? Yes! Then stop staring at my kids like something is majorly wrong. They are just as capable and able as you are, but they don't take the same path as you to accomplish things because it's not wheelchair accessible (smiles).

I guess the point of my rambling is that the biggest issues that I run across for my kids are not the medical ones, but more the social ones and the ones created by other people. Your body language screams at my kids without you ever making a sound. Your body language teaches my kids that they are different and that it is a bad thing. Your body language helps to take away what little self confidence they may have that day. So, the next time you see a "special" child and are curious, don't stare. Politely go up and ask. I am willing to bet that the parent might be very willing to have an honest, informational conversation with you. In fact, I bet they will teach you more than you ever knew.

Well, that's my nonsense and I am sticking to it.

Life Seen Through My Eyes

Originally posted 07/17/2011

Life Seen Through My Eyes    

     What is wisdom? Wisdom is something you supposedly acquire the older you get. It's not something that you gain early on. It takes time. Some wisdom is acquired easier than others. If you had to define wisdom, it would be the total sum of knowledge of life experiences a person has gained while walking on this Earth. Some people that I have met (or are related to) I would consider to be very wise and others that I would consider to just be wise asses.
     I started to think. What would be the wisdom that I could offer? What could I say to others that I have learned in my 30-something years? Would it be considered wise? I will let you decide because I have come up with a list. Here is what I have learned:

1. Tell your significant other, your kids, your family, and/or close friends that you love them because things can and will change in the blink of an eye.

2. The old saying "Never judge a book by it's cover" is true. What you "think" you know about a person or situation may not be anywhere close to what the reality is.

3. Never judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes, orthotics, walker and/or roll in their wheelchair.

4. Doing what is right is not always what is easy.

5. Having convictions help to make you who you are.

6. God will ALWAYS give you more than you can handle because He wants to see how you handle the challenges. If you think you can't handle it, then He wants YOU to rely on HIM.

7. Compromise is great, but never compromise on:  your word, integrity, trust, and morals. If you do, you will become a shell of who you really are.

8. No matter how hard you think things are, someone always has it worse.

9. ALWAYS tell the truth even if it hurts and, believe me, the truth does hurt from time to time.

10. If you make a mistake, always apologize (and soon after the mistake). It will go a long in putting out the fire before the bridge is completely burned.

11. Life is hard. Everyone experiences hard ships. Get off your high horse like it's "only you" experiencing the hardships of life and do something about it.

12. Work for what you want. It will mean more to you.

13. There will be times in your life where you will HAVE to make the hard decision or the gut call. Get ready because it's coming.

14. Happiness is NOT defined by money or possessions.

15. Always be willing to learn more. School and books are not the only places you can learn.

16. Be a staunch advocate and fierce defender.

17. Always be nice to those who serve you or provide you a service. They will be the ones to help you out of a jam.

18. Whatever choice you make, stand by it.

19. Your word is your bond. Without it, you are nothing.

20. Value those that have gone before you because they are the ones who created the path that you are on.

The Fear

Originally posted 06/26/2011


The Fear   

     I admit it. I have it. I have always had it, but just refused to believe it. My denial of it can be a powerful and engrossing thing. What I have isn't necessarily contagious or viral. It's not airborne, it's not in food, and it's not genetic. It has taken me until recently to finally own up to the fact that I am 100% a part of it. My acceptance of it was tough at first, but over time, it has gotten at least a little easier to deal with. What I have is only known as, "the fear" and it can be crippling.

     I know that "the fear" is not just a parent of special needs thing. I know that it is more of just a general, everyday parent thing. As a parent, I generally worry about a lot of things that my children deal with or experience. I am sure that many of you out there know exactly what I am talking about. Before my wife and I had kids, it was never an issue at least not a major one. Yes, we had the typical life issues and job issues that we worried about from time to time, but nothing that was consuming. We thought we knew what stress and fear was like, but oh how we were wrong. We did not really fear much even after my son was diagnosed with his initial medical issues. We just kind of rolled with the punches and took life as it came and that was the problem (at least for me).

     I am a cerebral man. I think. I analyze. I contemplate. I mentally reorganize. I have OCD (diagnosed, not just saying). The problem with being a thinker, having OCD, and having "the fear" is that I over analyze everything. I will rerun scenarios, conversations, Dr.'s appointments, etc. through my head over and over again. I am not over exaggerating when I say at least a thousand times. It drives me crazy sometimes. Luckily medication helps me, however, it does not eliminate my intense need to reevaluate everything many times.  I don't know why I reevaluate things especially when I know I cannot change the current situation. I guess maybe I am hoping that I remember something that could possibly give me a clue to help my children in some form or fashion.

     "The fear" usually sneaks up on you when you least expect. It's almost like it hits you like an epiphany. I fear many things for both of my children since both have major neurological issues and my son has physical issues on top of that. My fears are, but not limited to: Will my son and daughter ever walk on their own (since that have yet to walk unassisted or without a walker)? Will my son or daughter ever talk/communicate since they are nonverbal and well beyond the typical age when a child starts to talk? How will the world embrace my children (with open arms or judgmentally)? Will my children ever be able to do things on their own or for themselves i.e. being independent?

      I admit "the fear" grips me as I have stated above. My son has had a few times where I have had to rush him to the local children's hospital (60 miles away) in the middle of the night. Also, my son is a shallow breather and has had 5 major stays for respiratory issues in the hospital. My biggest fear is that one day is that I will not hear him having issues in the middle of the night, I will walk into my son's room to wake him up in the morning, and he won't be breathing. That scares me to death. I know that I should not believe this, but somehow it has gotten stuck in my head and I cannot shake it. I work on it everyday.

     "The fear" is all consuming and hard to admit. I love my children and would do anything for them. The physical issues are a piece of cake vs. the mental toughness one has to have when raising two medically fragile, special needs children. I can only hope that it will only get better and easier to deal with as time goes on. I know that I am not the only one. As I end this blog, I ask you, what gives you "the fear"?

     Well, that my nonsense and I am sticking to it.

Standing on My Soapbox: Odd Thoughts

Originally posted  10/02/2009

Standing on My Soapbox:  Odd Thoughts

I just have several odd thoughts I would like to get off my chest. Some of them you may have heard and some are ones that others have shared with me, but still puzzle me. Please just humor me.

1. Why don’t chicken breasts have nipples?

2. Do giraffes ever get sore necks?

3. If horses could play basketball, do you think they would play “H-U-M-A-N”?

4. If a dog could play with a yo-yo, do you think the dog would do the trick “Walking the Dog”?

5. Do you think a duck would get confused if you yelled at the duck to “duck”?

6. When a cow stands out in the rain, why doesn’t the cow fall apart like leather?

7. When a cow stands in the sun, why doesn’t it tan and turn brown like leather?

8. If a snake could talk, would it have a lisp?

9. If penguins could fly, where do you think they would go?

10. Why does minute rice take more than one minute to cook? Isn’t that false advertising?

11. Since there is no sound in space due to space being a vacuum, why is my home vacuum so loud?

12. If you go to an Italian restaurant and order antipasta for an appetizer and pasta for dinner, did you really eat anything at all?

13. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy alcohol when you can’t drink and drive?

14. When chickens eat something, do you think they say “It tastes like chicken”?

15. Do Chinese people feel hungry an hour after eating American food?

16. If you own a restaurant and you eat in your restaurant, are you eating out?

17. Why don’t psychics ever see their fortune or misfortune coming?

18. Why isn’t there a Channel 1 on the TV?

19. Don’t you say the word never when you say the phrase, “Never Say Never”?

20. If water swirls clockwise north of the equator and counterclockwise south of the equator, which way does it swirl for those people living on the equator?

21. If Siamese twins were chosen to speak in front of a group, would that be a monologue or a dialogue?

22. Why does the word “monosyllabic” have more than one syllable?

23. Do gas tanker trucks ever run out of gas?

24. Why are there only nudists and not clothes-ists as well?

25. Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

26. If you are scared half to death twice, what happens?

27. If you drink 2 cartons of half and half, did you have a whole carton of milk?

28. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

29. If you are riding down the interstate and read a billboard advertising a personal injury lawyer and in the process you get into a wreck causing yourself personal injury, could you sue the personal injury lawyer?

30. If a duck and a chick have a baby, would it be a dick?

31. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

32. If it is true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

33. What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

34. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle its in?

35. Why are their interstates in Hawaii?

36. Why is a person who plays the piano a pianist, but a person who drives a race care not called a racist?

37. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

38. If a donkey gets mad at another donkey, does he call that donkey an ass?

39. Are dyslexic people intimidated by Spelling Bees?

40. Do blind people get offend by blinds like Native American people get offend by say sports team using Indian mascots?

41. Since I have always heard of "Old Wives Tales", why aren't there any "Old Man Tales"?

42. If a horse gets too rough, is it called horseplay?

43. If more than one goose starts to choke, is it called a gaggle?

44. Can a chicken play the game "chicken"?

45. If a cow makes a call, would it be a cattle call?

46. When a dog looks at a tree does he think it has rough bark?

47. If "ShamWOW" sells itself, why is their an info-mercial trying to sell it?

48. If a truck is transporting a trailer full of donkeys and only going the speed limit, is the truck still hauling ass?

49. If you throw away a fortune cookie, are you throwing away a fortune?

50. If you sleep with a hooker and then don't pay for it, is it shoplifting?

51. Would a dyslexic cow say "Oom" instead of "Moo"?

52. If your "wondering" around a pond...does that mean your Pondering?

53. Would it be ironic if you died in the living room?

54. If a Muslim makes an exclamatory statement, would they use "OMG" for Oh, my God or "OMA" for Oh, My Allah?

55. If normal body temperature is 98.6 degrees, why does 80+ degrees outside feel so hot?

56. If a group of Geese is called a "gaggle", why isn't a group of cows called a "Moo"?

57. Wonders, if a business says "NO SHIRT,NO SHOES,NO SERVICE", what would happen if you walk in with no pants would they still serve you?

58. Wonders, if a person in Mexico makes a phone call to a business, do they have to Press #1 for Spanish?

59. Wonders if Confucius ever got confused?

60. Wonders why people never ask to have a boat as their one item if they were ever stranded on a desert island alone.

61. Do woodpeckers get headaches?

62. If Superheroes wear underwear on the outside of their clothing, what's on the underside?

63. How come when you open a can of evaporated milk, it's still there?

64. If swimming is so good for you why are whales so fat?

65. Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time, yet don't point to their crotch when they want to go to the bathroom?

66. Why is there an "s" in lisp?

67. Wonders...if you buy a cup of coffee and the caffeine didn't work, does that mean the coffee is defective and has been falsely advertised? Could you get a refund?

68. Wonders...if I was a white child born in South Africa, would I be a "White, African American"?

69. Wonders....if a turtle lost it shell, would it be naked or homeless??

70. Wonders...why does bottled water have an expiration date?

71. Wonders...what was the first person (who figured out you could get milk from a cow) doing the the cow?

72. Wonders...if common sense is so common, why do so many people lack it?

72. Wonders...what happens if you eat an upside-down cake while being upside down? Does it mean that the cake now becomes right side up?

73. If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?  --Stephen Wright

74. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? --Stephen Wright

75. Wonders...does the old statement, "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again" really apply to all things? What about skydiving?

76. If Wednesday has always been known as "Hump Day", should Thursday be renamed to "Need a Cigarette" day or "Fall Asleep" day?

77. Wonders...Can you believe in free will and believe in fate at the same time? Free will implies that you have a choice in what, where, and how. Fate implies that a person is all ready pre-determined for the events and happenings in their life.

78. If you buy a trash can, are you throwing away money?

79. If you spend all day doing nothing, how do you know when you are done?

80. Wonders, if something was "the greatest thing since sliced bread", what about sliced bread?

81. Wonders, f you search for "nothing" in Google search engine, will you find something or nothing?

A Special Needs Family

Originally posted 09/02/2008

A Special Needs Family

I am writing this story to share with my friends and the world if the world wants to read it. I am a devoted husband and a loving father. I could not think of anything that makes me happier or brings greater joy. I have two children…a boy and a girl. My son is 2 years old and my daughter is 10 months old (at the time I originally wrote the story). Both of my children are the light of my life and I would do anything for them. They have grown so much and shown so much personality in the short time that they have been around. My kids have also taught me more about children and myself than I ever imagined. My kids are both special needs children. Here is our family story.

It is the year 2005. My wife and I had been married for about 3 years at this point. We both we wanted kids. We decided that we would start trying to have a child. It wasn’t really a planned issue like using ovulation monitors and all. It was more like “if it happens, it happens”. Well, after about four months of trying, we found out Jennifer was pregnant with our first child (Zach). We were thrilled, exciting, joyous, etc. We were going to be parents. It did bring a little bit of fear for the unknown, but the joy and excitement outweighed it all. We told our parents after the first trimester and they were all thrilled as well. Things went wonderfully well through the first twenty weeks.

As you know, the week twenty appointment is the one where you get to find out the sex of the child. Jennifer and I disagreed on whether to find out or not. I wanted to know because I am a planner and she did not want to know because she wanted the surprise. We went to the appointment and the ultrasound tech started doing the ultrasound. We were amazed at the pictures that we were seeing of our son (we didn’t know that it was a boy at that moment). Then the moment came where the tech asked us if we wanted to know the sex of the child. My wife and I playfully went back and forth for a moment. The tech continued to look as we tried to decide. Before we could decide, the tech said that she needed to know the sex because there was an issue. We then said that we wanted to know. She informed us that we were having a boy. The issue was the fact that his right kidney had a blockage or obstruction. The OB-GYN wanted use to go see a Perinatalogist, which essentially means a “high risk” pregnancy doctor.

We started seeing the Perinatalogist because of the obstruction in the left kidney of our son. It was causing fluid to back up into the kidney and enlarge the kidney. I think that is called kidney reflux. Each week that we went to the Peri- Dr., the kidney kept getting larger and larger. At week 28 and the only Peri- Dr. appointment I could not get to, the Dr. told Jennifer that Zach now only had one kidney which was the one with the obstruction and that the other kidney would never form. The Dr. also find the neurological issues at that time. Originally, they thought Zach had hydrocephalus (water on the brain). Then they thought it might be epilepsy. The Dr. then thought it was “enlarged ventricles” in the brain which would cause developmental delays. Finally, the Dr.’s at the Perinatalogist office agreed on “areas of missing white matter” which are causing his current developmental delays. He also had a thinned corpus collosum and cystic lesions on his cerebellum. As you can imagine, we would have to start seeing a Neurologist and a pediatric Neurosurgeon for further assistance.

The day had come where it was time for Zachary to arrive. We rushed to the hospital (Southern Regional) from Peachtree City to Riverdale during rush hour (good times!). We got to the hospital and were immediately admitted. The nurses had to slow my wife’s contractions down or she would have not been able to have the c-section that the Dr. ordered. Jennifer delivered a healthy 9 lb, 14 oz. boy at 11:58 p.m. We had no idea what was coming next. After Jennifer gave birth and they showed me my son, they whisked me out of the delivery room and my son to the NICU.

The Dr. on call told me that Zach was born with a rare condition called Eagle-Barrett Syndrome or also known as “Prune Belly”. This condition happens in 1 in 40,000 births. The condition characteristics are: being born with no abdominal muscles, an oddly shaped bladder that will never full drain and have to be given a catheter to drain (will always be at risk for a urinary tract infection and takes meds for), a diminished lung capacity which makes flu season fun, the inability to “poop” so he takes meds once a day for it, undescended testicles which have to be surgically lowered, and could have major other kidney issues which we have yet to have (thank God). The Dr.’s did not know why he had it. They called Scottish Rite that evening to get him transported up the next morning. My son spent the next 10 days in the NICU at Scottish Rite. We had eight “-olgoists” and other Dr.’s.

Since leaving Scottish Rite and the subsequent years after, Zach has see Scottish Rite and his specialist many times. He has had 5 surgeries (with one more to go), 1 Grand Mal Seizure, 2 unexplained/uncontrollable "twitching" episodes that were not seizures, 8 MRI’s, 1 Sleep Study, 1 Swallow Study, 2 EEG's, 1 CT Scan, numerous x-rays and ultrasounds, lots of blood work done, has worn an orthotic helmet, wears orthotic AFO’s, wears a binder brace for his midsection support, and uses a walker. He sees a Neurologist, Urologist, Pediatric Neurosurgeon, Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, and Horse Therapy on a regular basis. He has not said his first word, crawled or walked yet. He is getting very close to crawling with the advances he has recently made. He now attends an AWESOME, private school called The Joseph Sams School (which caters to special needs students only). He has made leaps and bounds when it comes to catching up on his developmental delays. He is a very personable, lovable, little guy who is the biggest fighter when it comes to overcoming his struggles.

My wife and I always wanted more than one child. We always wanted at least two. Many people in our family disagreed with us on having another child after having our son and all of his special issues. We understood their concerns, but we still wanted another. Our thought was always, “If we were meant to have a special needs child, then we were meant to”. We found out in about Feb. 2008 that Jennifer was pregnant again. We immediately started seeing the Perinatalogist for our second child because of the high risk nature that Zach was. It was done as a precaution. We went on a more frequent basis up until the week 20 appointment. At that appointment, we found out that our second child was a girl. We were thrilled. 2 tries = 1 boy and 1 girl. At that time, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Then came the infamous week 28 visit.

The week 28 visit showed that my daughter had fluid building up around her right lung and only the right lung. The Dr.’s were puzzled as to what was causing this fluid build-up. The Dr.’s stated that fluid build-up was bad because it could stunt the growth of the lungs. They explained that we needed to remove the fluid from around the lung by performing an “amnio”. I have always been against this procedure. The Dr.’s basically said they would take a needle, go from outside my wife, into the uterus, through the amniotic sac, through the chest of our daughter and to the lung to drain the fluid. How crazy is that? After the amnio was performed, they would test the fluid. We also had to be concerned with premature birth since now there was a hole in the sac which would help it to rupture. That added to our pressure of making a decision. The Dr. said we had a little bit of time, but not much to make a decision especially since the pressure on the lungs was building.

I prayed and prayed and prayed about help with that decision. The day came where Jennifer and I had to tell the Dr. “yes” or “no”. We didn’t want to, but we told the Dr. to go ahead for the health of the child even though I was against the procedure and very concerned about. Then the most miraculous thing happened. The appointment that Jennifer went in to have another ultrasound and to set up the “amnio” was an ultrasound appt. The Dr.’s wanted to look at the baby one more time. The Dr.’s looked and looked and looked. They appeared to be puzzled. They looked back at their notes and even asked us what they told them the last time we were there. We told them about the decision for the “amnio”. The Dr. turned the monitor around and said that he was baffled because all of the fluid had disappeared just as quickly as it came. He could not explain it. The Dr. said that we did not have to have the test anymore. Jennifer then went on to have a healthy 10 lb., 3 oz baby girl at 7-something in the morning. We were known as “You are the couple with the BIG baby”. We had no reason to believe Samantha had any issues.

One day Zach’s occupational therapist came over to the house with an intern. The intern asked if she could assess Samantha to give her practice. We said that she could just to see what the test would say. Well, to our shock, it said that Samantha was delayed. We did not understand why. We did not believe the intern or the therapist. So we went to our Pediatrician and she agreed with the OT and the intern. We then made an appointment with Zach’s neurologist for Sam. The neuro. Dr. wanted Sam to get a CT scan. So we did. The scan showed that Samantha did have similar neurological issues as our son that would cause the delay. A couple of months went by and things were not getting any better so we went back to the neurologist for Samantha and the Dr. wanted an MRI for Samantha. We had the MRI done.

Samantha has “areas of thinned white matter” which cause the developmental delays, a thinned corpus collosum and her brain has atrophied some (the neuro. does not know why yet). Samantha has had one round of genetic testing done to see if they could find a link or correlation to something since Zach as such similar issues. They did not find anything and we are now on to round two of the genetic testing. We just want a name to it so we can call it something other than “generalized developmental delays”. Samantha now sees her Pediatrician, a Neurologist, and Physical Therapist on a regular basis. She also wears an orthotic helmet and an eye patch. She will also need a stander and some other adaptive needs equipment. Even with all of this going on for her, she is a fighter. My daughter is a very happy, determined, stubborn girl who wants to make her own decisions (HA!).

I guess the reason that I write this is more to inform than to be a “sob" story or wanting to be a “charity” case. It is my goal to teach my children independence and that they can do anything they put their minds to. I want them to work for the things they want in life and not to be handed to them. They need to learn to earn what they want and not to have it given to them. I don’t want to sound harsh, but I also don’t want any more obstacles to be created. Do you understand? Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.